Friday, December 7, 2007

Crazy Trip To Invisible Children's San Diego Office

So I decided to write about what was going on with everything in San Diego, including my trip out. Each time I write something new, I broke it into a segment or part. Each one has a title which should give you an idea of what went on for today around those different time. It was a pretty crazy day. I'll hopefully be able to post more each day. Enjoy!
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San Diego (Part 1 - The Journey to...) 5:00am December 6th
So as I finally get my internet to work, the lady tells all passengers that we'll begin boarding in about 5 minutes. So I have 5 minutes for Part 1 of what will be my explaining this weekend.

I'm sitting here, waiting for my plane. They just called for Zone 1. I'm Zone 7. I've never flown before so this will be a first for me. I'm not nearly as nervous as I thought I would be. I'm more excited that I got this chance than anything else right now. I also haven't slept since I woke up this morning and am waiting for delirium to set in.

...any minute now.

Until then, I'll just keep listening to Ambitions.

So a brief review of WHY I'm going to San Diego. I have been a volunteer for the organization Invisible Children ( for some time now and from Friday, Dec. 7th - Dec. 9th, they are holding their first ever conference for their volunteers. What's really cool about this is that it was invitation only! So now I wait to board my plane and head out to San Diego. First though, I have to stop in Philadelphia for a change of planes. I think my time is coming to an end though. I'll probably continue with Part 2 when I arrive in San Diego...or if I get bored on the plane. We'll see. There's not to much to write that I can think of in such a short span of time.

Time to go. See you soon!

San Diego (Part 2 - The Misadventure) - 6:00am
So, it would appear that I'm writing some more sooner than later. Apparently, there was a mechanical problem on my plane and therefore, they had to swap planes. This caused a problem for me because I have a connecting flight in Philadelphia that I need to be on in an hour. Not going to happen. So they switched my flight. My new plane leaves in about 2 hours. I need to find a way to kill time but haven't thought of much yet. I did bring 2 movies with me (Batman Begins and Ghostbusters 2). I could watch some tv shows online. I'm sure I'll figure something out.

What's really cool about this new flight though is that I get to fly with my friend who I'll be with all weekend. What's better is I have the seat right beside her now. What's even better than that is that she has no idea. Should make for a fun surprise.

It was interesting being on my previous plane for the little amount of time I was. I haven't really found myself getting very nervous yet. Heck, I started to fall asleep (why'd they have to wake me? Why???) The idea of flying isn't as scary as I thought it was going to be or...rather, the idea of flying seemed to be scarier than when I was actually ready to get into the air. I sat there (bored) and wondered why I hadn't brought a book to read. I wasn't thinking about what could go wrong, just how bored I was going to be if I couldn't manage to fall asleep. It's nice.

Well, I still have nothing very exciting to write. I'm just bored. Guess I'll start looking for something to watch. Later days!

San Diego (Part 3 - Incompetency Airways) - 1:15pm
US me.

Incompetency surrounds me.

I just want to get to California. I'm stuck in Vegas (or have been, I'm leaving in 15 minutes) because US Airways is employed by retards. On a good note though, my flight out here was pretty cool. Not nearly as bad or scary as I thought it would be (if you're just joining us, yes - this is my first flight). It was actually fun. Seeing the Rockies and the desert from so high was so cool. I'm just glad I'll be landing in San Diego in about an hour.

Time to get on board. See you in San Diego

San Diego (Part 4 - Southwest Rulz, US Airways Droolz) - 2:00PM
Southwest Airlines knows what's up! This flight has been awesome. I got a window seat this time and took pictures and it--s been really cool. Everyone has been nice and yeah. Flight number 2 is awesome.

I'm actually writing this on the plane right now. I think we arrive in San Diego in about 40 minutes or so (not entirely sure). It won--t be much longer than that.

The landscape is just beautiful. I've been in awe since getting up here and haven--t really stopped looking out the window. It just astounds me. All this beauty.

Ow, my ears--

I--m seriously just--amazed at this. I can--t understand how or why this is so captivating to me but it is. Maybe it--s because it--s new or maybe it--s just seeing --

Whoa--we--re landing. That was really fast. Okay.

God is love.

San Diego (Part 5 - The Arrival and Recap) 2:45am - Dec. 7th
So after many misadventures, we've finally arrived!

Some things that I was unable to go into earlier, I shall now. The reason I was stuck in Vegas was because our flight had a layover there. We were told that we would be flying again at 12:30, which gave us roughly 2 hours to do what we wanted (eat, drink, gamble, whatever) so Ashley and I decided to go and eat. We played a slot machine (I'm now minus $1) and we sat down and ate. I talked to some people at Invisible Children about some stuff for this weekend and updated them on where we were. While I was on the phone, Ashley, who had just finished her lunch, looked up at me concerned. She seemed bothered by something.

"Something's wrong. I can feel it," she confirmed. I asked her what and she wasn't sure but said we should head back to the plane. On our walk back, she started to freak out a little bit...which in turn started to freak me out a little bit. We arrived back at the terminal and sure enough - empty seats. The plane was ACTUALLY leaving at 11:35. We had just missed our flight by (literally) 1 minute. We weren't the only ones to miss that flight though. Due to a late flight, these two men also missed the plane to San Diego from Las Vegas. They were infuriated. They started to be real jerks to the lady at the counter. She was very polite however and took all of us to get a new flight. Since it wasn't our fault or there fault for missing this flight, US Airways was taking care of it.

We found a Southwest Airlines flight out of Vegas at 1:30pm. Awesome, except for that we were stuck with the two guys from the other plane who had to find their luggage and we had about an hour and a half to do so. Not so awesome. We hurried to the baggage claim and finally, something that goes right, the bags are waiting for them. Then we hurry our way through check-in at Southwest, get through security and make it to our gate in plenty of time.

Now as we are waiting, one of the workers tells everyone at the gate that someone left some Sunglasses on the counter. Sunglasses on the counter. They have them. Come get them if they're yours. The gentlemen who they belonged to finally realized they were his after they had already started boarding. He grabbed them and ran up to the line...and they started yelling "George, you can't cut in line! Come on, George, no cutting!" They were laughing the whole time. Once on the plane, we are told that the same man, had a bottle of champagne on the flight for him because it was his 25th anniversary with his wife. We're not sure who this guy was, but everyone seemed to know him. He seemed a little nutty though. He kept standing up and talking to all of us about nothing and would get up when everyone was asked to sit. While he's doing this, I notice the bracelet on his arm. It's the same one I got with my Emmy DVD from Invisible Children! ( He asks if we have the bracelet and I show him that I do. Ashley doesn't. He ends up giving her the bracelet. We were shocked. This guy was being so nice. He got the bracelet when he was in Africa. What a small world?

After that, the flight was pretty typical. I took some pictures on my computer while we were flying. They will be posted later.

Finally we arrive in San Diego. It's pretty dull at this point. Just waiting on our shuttles. I want to get online. Ashley wants to get to her room and sleep. Finally, my shuttle arrives and I'm off. The room I'm in is actually pretty nice. I end up napping. Ashley got a rental car here and since it's not out of the way at all, is driving me to the conference stuff. It's easier and she doesn't have to ride alone. Works for me. We decide, since we're the only people we know here right now (people at Invisible Children are busy doing work) we hang out and go drive around. San Diego isn't bad. It's pretty nice here. Don't know that I would ever want to live here, but I wouldn't mind coming here again.

We finished the night by going up to the Roadie/Intern house and hanging out with our friends after they were done working. We just sort of hung out, met people we didn't know and played Guitar Hero. Ashley wanted to go to sleep so we left and now I'm lying in my room writing this. Pretty eventful day. I think I might try to sleep now. See ya.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

This Blog Irritates Me

For some reason, the question that keeps ringing through my head has been,

"Why can't people understand and know love? Why can't we find it or see it when it's there? Why can't we trust enough to trust that love is and/or can be real? Why is love so distant? Why is it so obscure? Why is it so foreign? Why?"

I don't have these answers because I'm someone who suffers from thinking that I can't find love but that doesn't stop me from trying to show it to my friends. I just feel so sad and angry at the same time when I hear the way some of my friends talk, especially about themselves. Usually, what they're saying is wrong and is more of a fabrication that society or past experiences with a member or members of the opposite gender that has caused such a lack of love; the finding and understanding of love and loving ones self. It's almost never right. I don't think I've ever heard someone accurately talk themselves down. We see ourselves a different way than everyone else because we know everything we've ever done. We know who we are and we know what we are capable of. We ARE our own worst critics.

There are to many girls in my life who hate themselves. Not their personality either but their looks. I get so irritated with that. I try not to let it show but there have been times when I just got fed up. I feel awkward complimenting a girl I'm not dating. I don't really know why, I just do. I'm no liar though. If I'm telling you something, it's true. If I discover something that I said isn't true, I'll almost always go back to whomever and let them know I lied out of a lack of knowledge. That happens sometimes but we're getting off subject. Why are we as a people so superficial? Why are men so obsessed with the girl with the biggest breasts and nicest butt and best curves and blah blah blah? Why do we, as a gender, go around saying this girl is hot or that girl is hot or this celebrity is hot or whatever? Why?! It's dumb. I know I'm guilty of doing it too and I feel bad. I'm only adding to this problem where we are so obsessed with the way we look.

I just get so irritated. So irritated that a beautiful girl can look at herself in the mirror, at a mere 110 lbs or so and see someone so grotesque and so obese and so disproportionate that it can literally bring her to tears. So irritated that a guy, who has so much pressure put on him to be "the man" that he feels sleeping with any young girl will make him more masculine and more accepted by his peers. I'm pretty much just irritated that we are all so infected with this superficial disease that there is no trust anymore, not even from myself. I don't trust anyone but at the same time, I want to. I want to so badly!

Trust is a form of love. To trust someone is something that a lot of us can't even comprehend. How could I trust someone to be there for me, even when I'm at my worst; at my darkest? For myself, the only thing I see when I think about something like that is most of the people in my life turning their backs and walking away in disgrace, forgiveness thrown out because of my mistake. There are very few that I feel would walk over to pick me up. I really hope that there are people out there who think I would be that person. If not, then I am sorry for whatever I've done to you that I'm not one of those people (even though, you might just be like me and it just takes a very long time before you can trust someone into your life that much, to that much extent).

Love is real and never ends. If it were to end, then what point would there be for love? We have a term such as unconditional love but what is conditional love? How can love have conditions? How can you tell someone you love them unless they do this or that? That doesn't make any sense to me. For love to have a condition is something that I don't think can exist. Love and conditions just don't go together. If you only loved me until I made a mistake, then what kind of love is that? How can it be love? I don't think it can. I think love is the ability to get over that mistake and eventually forget it. I think love is one of those things where you can meet someone half way and realize that you make mistakes as well, that a mistake is all they've done.

Am I saying not to get mad at anyone? No. I'm saying that someday, we can actually hang out with said person again or if the situation was really bad, that we could at least meet every now and then for coffee or something (and no, this isn't meant to anyone specific, that was just an example).

I don't really know where I was going with this. I think I was just ranting because this is something that bothers me. I'm not mad at anyone. I'm mad at society and media for the pressure that they put on us everyday, but not at anyone in particular.

I think love is a beautiful thing and if you feel that you are someone who hasn't found it yet or won't, I truly truly hope that you do. I believe that love and hope are available for all people, regardless of gender, race, creed, etc. I make mistakes, all the time. I'm not here to judge. For you, reading this, I hope that you feel love from me. I hope that you can look at me and know that I care about you. If you don't, then I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you feel that way.

I love you all. I do. You all have a place in my life. Smile...and know you have worth.

I dont know if this blog makes any sense but I do thank you for reading this far. If it does make sense to you, then I hope it helps you, somehow, someway. Take care.

"Lose one friend, lose all friends, lose yourself."

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Oh, To Be A Real Boy

I really hate expressing myself to people. Especially when my mind has become a twirling spasm of thoughts because when that happens, I can't comprehend the slightest thing that is bringing my mood down. It's all piled on top of each other and I can't make out a formation. I can realize to some extent what is in that pile, but I can't find the key factor because they are all meshing together. Typically, I don't write when that happens. I might write a song or something but I usually refrain from writing blogs because I fear that I might actually express myself and people would finally see what is going on. I don't want people to know what is really going on though. It's not their problem, it's mine. I don't like expressing myself.

There are very few people who can truly figure me out and that I have really had a true heart to heart with. It's not because I am ashamed of whatever it is that is upsetting me (most of the time) but because I feel that if I were to talk to someone about what is going on with me or even blog about what is really bugging me, that it would come off as though I were whining ... or worse, that I am saying these things because I want attention.

I don't say things to bring attention to myself, or if I do, it's subconsciously. It just sort of happens. Usually I realize that I may have done something like that after-the-fact though and will typically refrain from it again. I try to anyways. I really don't want to bring attention to myself by talking about my problems though. The problems or things that are bugging me are mine to deal with, not someone else's. Why would I want to bother someone else with things that are bothering me? They'll just get annoyed or irritated.

I am, at the moment, sitting here and contemplating erasing this entire entry because I don't feel like being a complainer. I feel like if I post this, it's just going to come off in a way that annoys the reader. I'm going to go against what I want to do and continue writing though. For once.

Getting back to the point, I don't like expressing myself to people and talking about what's really going on because I don't think anyone really cares enough to listen and actually care. Someone might sit there and let me talk but they wouldn't listen.

It's time to just be brutally honest and say what I don't want people to know...and it's really hard to get to that point...but I'm going to anyways. I wish I could do it without this disclaimer though but I can't. Disclaimer: I'm not saying this for attention. I'm saying this because I tell all of my friends that I'm fine when I'm not and keep everything inside of me because it's my problem and no one else's. For once, I'm just going to be real.


I am someone who feels that they are undeserving of authentic love. I don't feel that I can earn it, that I deserve it, and I don't blame people when a complication arises. I blame myself. I most often believe that one mistake on my part will cause the person to completely hate me and no longer want any form of relationship to exist between us. I don't really know why this is but I don't know how to defeat this kind of thinking either. I can't help but to think it though. I just don't. I feel that I do things that cause people to not want to be my friend. Hell, sometimes I'm pretty sure that even God couldn't care less for me. I feel that I'm just a screw up and that's the only thing that I'm good at. Hurting, bothering, annoying or irritating people, making mistakes. Thoughts that my future is nothing. That I'll amount to nothing, that I'm not good enough to receive love, not good enough to achieve all that I want to achieve, not good enough to do things right.

I also don't believe that I can be accepted, which would be fine if I were someone who changed to find acceptance. However, I am not that kind of person so I generally think that my past, my mistakes, my mannerisms, my appearance, etc can't be accepted. There is something, some unidentifiable ... i-don't-know-what that people just don't like. Something that keeps me at a distance so that people don't have to know the real me, because when they do, they don't like me anymore. I've annoyed them or irritated them or I make them uncomfortable (I could go on with the list but I think you get the point). Do I have proof to support my claims? Nothing solid, just ideas that I mostly make up in my head to convince myself that I'm right.

Pretty much, I don't trust people and I don't think that someone could actually care about me. I just don't. It's not that I blame others. Actually, I blame myself...every time.

This post is a post of hope. For myself. Not a post for you to send me messages of pity but a post of hope that maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to break this. That maybe, finally, after years of anxiety and fear when I'm around others, that I will be...fine. That I won't sit there and think about the reasons why I'm being awkward and convince myself that I'm making everyone else feel awkward as well. That I will sit there and for once, not worry. That maybe, I will be released from something that has had a hold of me for a very long time. Throughout the entirety of this writing, I slowly felt my sour mood lift and become one of joy. It's part of the reason you are reading this now. If I hadn't felt that something was happening though this writing, then I wouldn't post it.

I'm still scared that people are going to think that I am only putting this up for the attention though but I think I'm at a point where I don't care. If you think that, then you do. I don't really care anymore.

And once again, if you actually read this entire post, thank you. If you feel hurt or confused as to whether or not I trust you, just ask me. I'll be honest with you but just remember that, it's not anything that you do but everything to do with reasons that I come up with. Reasons that make me think that you don't like me, that I've caused you to not like me.

An interesting and ironic part of this post, however, lies within my own beliefs. Maybe you are someone who feels like I do. Maybe you are struggling with this very same thing. If you are, then I'm sorry. I believe however that everyone is deserving of real, authentic love. It's the very reason I try (I really do, but I know I screw up sometimes) to make everyone around feel like I care about them. Sometimes it's difficult only because I worry making someone feel awkward so I do it mostly by simply trying to be nice and accepting of who that person is.

If you are someone who feels like me, know...know that you are deserving. I really do believe that people are. I am so saddened when I hear people say that I'm nice to them even though they don't deserve it. That's just not true! I'm nice to you because you DO deserve it. I try to be as nice and accepting as I can be because I don't think that I can get that. I know I screw up and I know I make mistakes. I can get over them though because I wish I could know that people can forgive me for the mistakes that I have and will make. I'm nothing special, just a flawed being trying to finish this race so I can rest. I don't think I'm better than anyone else and I don't think people are really better than anyone else (although I will take my friends side's over those I don't know because my friends deserve to know that I'm on their side and I care about them).

Go take a look at who you really are...then smile, and know you have worth. Because you do.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Certificate Of Authenticity

Sometimes, when we, as the consumers that we are, go out and purchase items which we have wanted and/or needed (usually wanted), those items come with a certificate of authenticity. It is really nothing more than just a piece of paper that is assuring the consumer that the item purchased is made and manufactured by whatever company made the product. We can expect the quality we are used to or have been told of from that company. We know that the item is real, it is not a fraudulent item, it is not a fake but is exactly what we thought it was. It is what it is.

I wish people came with such certificates.

All my life I've dealt with two-bit frauds and clever backstabbers who seem so innocent and then take you down when you don't expect it. Cowards. Two-faces. Sadly, it is rare that I find someone who is authentic; who means the words they say. Someone who is actually honest and says what they mean to say, not what someone wants to hear only to retract such a statement when they aren't around. I can probably count on my hands the number of people I know are authentic and real to me in my life. I'd be surprised if I could fill up both hands though; use all ten fingers. I'm not going to name any names, even with people who I know really do care about me. Those who really care should have no question of whether or not I believe that they care or not; should have no question as to whether they come off two-faced to me. If you have any question about such a thing, then does that mean you're one of those people who's words you've said behind my back didn't match what you said to my face and you're contradictions have made their way back to me?

I can put that in simpler terms...If you are questioning whether or not you are one of those people, does that mean that you've said something behind my back? Something that, if it were to get back to me (which for some of you reading this, your words have gotten back to me) would upset me a great deal? Something that would show you to be a liar and a coward? Something that would show you to be fake?

For some time now, I've been analyzing the people in my life and noticing the way I'm treated by many. Very few of you show me any form of respect even though I would bend over backwards for you if you needed my help (and some of you ungrateful people have seen me do this...for you). People who actually take the time to get to know me understand the importance of friendship and honesty in my life. They understand how personal I will take something being ill-said behind my back as well. Why shouldn't I? You are spewing remarks about me to those who probably don't know me all that well and most of these remarks are speculation at best! Gossip is usually not true. People who want to make remarks and spread lies are often only speculating something happened but don't actually have any facts or they heard from someone else who is also speculating. Am I saying everything about me that has ever been said wasn't true? No, of course not. I have my faults. We all have our faults. I am terrible (or I think I am terrible) in many different areas in my life. I have my down falls. I screw up (a lot). Sometimes I may do or say something stupid. I have found my fair share of people who wish to say more than is true about me however.

Basically, what I am getting at is that I am tired. Tired of the cowards and the two-faces. Tired of people who are complete hypocrites; who say one thing and then do another. People who can't own up to their own words. People who purposely let me down and put me down. People who are fake. People who only have me around anymore because I might be of help to them someday and what is really sad is this...

I'll still help you even with the knowledge of you going behind my back and saying things that don't need to be said. Saying things that are hurtful. Saying things that are untrue. Saying things that are contradictory to things you've said to my face. I would still help you. I don't know why I have compassion for people, I just do. Sometimes, I really hate it because it's very hard to be mean to someone. I can't just knowingly go and be mean to someone. There are times when I may be caught in a sour mood and may come off rather rude but I won't leave such a reaction towards someone go without an apology. If I offend someone and can catch that I have offended them, I will almost always go to that person and apologize, and when I apologize, I mean it. As I've said before, I have my downfalls. Sometimes I have bad days. In all of this, I wasn't talking about someone having one instance of being mean to me because they were having a bad day. Those kinds of days don't count cause I have them too. I'm talking about people who are simply rude people and think they can say and/or do things to people without that person knowing.

Word travels. That person will find out that you spoke poorly of them.

I'm talking about people who are just shady because, they don't actually care about me. Why do they have me around every now and then? I'm not sure, but they sure as hell don't show me that they care. I'm relatively a good person to talk to when someone has problems. Perhaps that's one reason. A problem arises, they can't get ahold of anyone else so they call me and, of course, I go to where ever I need to go and meet up and we talk and things calm down and then I'll go months without hearing from that person again because they go what they needed from me.

That's just how it seems to me when I don't hear from people for months at a time or people scam on me when we have plans. Not once, not twice, I actually had someone who broke plans 6 times in a row before I finally just severed all ties with that person. Turns out, they were exactly the person that I'm ranting about right now. Some of you are this person as well. Some of you have been shady towards me and you've done it on purpose. For what reasons, I don't know. I probably won't ever know unless you just come out and say what they were.

All I've ever wanted were true friends. People who would be honest with me, who could show me love, who actually cared about me and didn't just have me around to use me when they needed to. I have a desire to be liked by people. I won't conform so that someone likes me though, my desire is to have someone like me for who I am, not for who they would rather I be. I want people in my life who's word is bond. People who are who they say they are. I have a few and I am grateful for all of you. There are many people who I have no idea what you think of me, and then there are people who this is about.

If you thought that this was written about you, don't come to me asking if it is and don't send me messages about whether or not this is about you. I won't respond. Instead, ask yourself if there is anything that you have done that would make this about you. If there's anything you've ever said to me that you contradicted later to another person. Ask yourself what you do to show that you are my friend.

I know that there are people who I have lost contact with. People who, over time, we sort of just...lost contact. I'm not talking about you people. Sometimes, people just loose contact with another and over time, get distant from each other. That happens and I understand that. This rant was towards those who see me on a somewhat-near-regular basis or talk to me often and are doing the things (or things like what was) mentioned above.

I honestly strive to be a good person in this life and to treat people with kindness and respect, something I so seldom feel I receive. If I've ever been unkind to you, this is my humble apology. It was never purposeful. I was probably having a bad day which have been occurring more frequently than not lately. I don't wish to bring harm to people. Any people. I only wish to help people, to be a friend to people that I may receive the same kindness and friendship back.

If you've actually read this...thanks. I really needed to let it out. To those of you who are true, I love you. To those of you who call me simply to say hello, to tell me you love me and you miss me, to see how I'm doing and to talk to me when things are not looking so good, I sincerely love you with all my heart. Thank you.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

A Political View: Proceed With An Open Mind

Next years Presidential Candidates so far look like absolute boneheads who simply regurgitate the same message with a few different words here and there. Although, one candidate is standing out for me,

Ron Paul (R - Texas)

I don't know yet. So far he looks like he might be the best for the job but i'm still looking into him. Let's face facts though, none of the front runners for the Republicans or the Democrats are going to get my vote. I wish that we had more choices than just the top Republican and Democrat candidates though.

Oh, you can say that we can vote for plenty of others and do a write in and etc etc but let's face facts. We live in a 2 party system (and a broken one at that) where either one or the other are going to get the seat and usually both choices resemble my digested remains floating in toilet water. Sorry to be so graphic for you. I'm sick of the party-ocracy though. It's really bugging me. I get so annoyed when someone in my family tries to tell someone else that I'm a republican when I am not. They want me to be republican because that's what I was raised as and that's what I'm registered as but they don't even know what I really believe. They know the basics. Who cares if I'm a republican anyways? Who cares if I'm a democrat? Who cares if I'm an anarchist? Does it really matter so much to cause unneeded division and tension between friends and family? Why can we not be individuals who think for themselves, regardless of race, religion, or political views?

I remember the 2004 presidential election and I remember being told that I was a Republican because I was a christian. I remember the church pushing for the re-election of President Bush like he was Christ himself (scary to think about, really) and I remember falling for the propaganda I was fed. I didn't look into it. I just did what I thought was right. I did consider myself an independent though but registered republican anyways because at the time, I agreed with them on more issues than I did the liberals.

I had my own reasons for disliking Kerry and still think he would have been a terrible president but have reassessed my views so that I am thinking for myself instead of what others are telling me what I should believe because of my religious views. A lot has changed in my mind since that election. I don't believe in parties anymore. I don't believe a lot of what I'm told by the corporate media and I don't believe in this war. I also don't believe the church should be telling people what to believe. I felt like I was being told that liberals were heathens who needed to find the grace of God or they would be doomed to hell because of their wicked ways. Liberals cannot be Christians. Then I actually figured out that God is graceful and therefore they CAN be Christians (but don't tell the Fundamentalist Christian Right I said that, they might have my smote!)

To say someone isn't a Christian, a Muslim, a Buddhist simply because of their political views is an absolutely absurd statement. Saying I'm not a Christian because I'm not a Republican or I'm not a liberal because I'm a Christian is ridiculous. It's a freakin' party. Neither side is completely right on every issue. It's why there is some form of division there between the parties because it all came about from people who were thinking for themselves. We should all be so grateful for the fact that we still have the right to think for ourselves. Did you know in Japan that you are to agree with the groups ideals and beliefs so that you don't disrupt the harmony? It's true. Check it out. They can't speak for themselves, they all just agree with one another. To do otherwise would be to disrupt the harmony (which the Japanese hold in very high value) and that is wrong to do. You just, don't do it. Japan is also one of the most peaceful countries in the world, believe it or not but that's probably besides the point. I am glad that I can think for myself.

Don't sit there and say, "Well, if you hate America so much then why don't you just leave?" I never said I hated America. I don't hate America. I love this country. It really is a great country. I'm pretty lucky to get to do a lot of things I get to do which others don't get the opportunity to do ever in their life. I'm pretty grateful to not know what war is really like, whereas their are people who are my age in Uganda who have grown up all their life so far dealing with the on-going war between the Lord's Resistance Army and the Ugandan Government (Peace talks are thankfully underway though. Hopefully they go somewhere and the bloodshed stops. For more information, go to and look around for a little while. You'll find all sorts of information on the war and how you can help kids in Uganda. They're legit.) I am grateful but that doesn't mean that I just sit back while our constitutional rights slowly get amended away and we move closer and closer to a fascist regime (oh yeah, I said it. Fascism doesn't always have to look like Hitler)

After 9/11, most Americans threw away their rights in exchange for hoping to feel safe, even though we really weren't protected. I'm talking about the Department of Homeland Security and the Patriot Act. I won't go any further into those but I'm on a rant so, they got mentioned. Whatever. I have a grudge against this government, and though you might be yelling at me in your head to go and do something about it then, the problem is in figuring out what to do. I'm not going to assassinate anyone or try to overthrow the government. I think violence is unnecessary. Look at the workings of Ghandi or Nelson Mandela and ArchBishop Desmond Tutu or Martin Luther King Jr. They used non-violence and changed things for the better. It's true. I don't know what else kept the black Africans from killing the white oppressors other than the election of Nelson Mandela as the first Black President of Africa. The world was waiting on a massacre and instead, Mandela and Tutu were able to keep peace.

We attack everyone who has somethin' for us and the world hates us. Even if you don't believe that this war has anything to do with greed and oil (even though it's a fact that Bush and Cheney are trying to Privatize Iraq's oil supply), we went over there and initially went after Osama Bin Laden. What happened to that hunt? We suddenly changed our minds and everything is on Iraq. Most of the Middle East hates us and most people wonder why? Most ignorant people would tell you it's because they are Muslims and they hate freedom. That's not the case though. If China came over here and started building military bases through out the United States that are bigger than the Vatican, are you going to tell me that you wouldn't be pretty upset? I would be! No wonder everyone is getting so angry at us and if we would just listen to what they are saying, we would realize that all they want is for us to leave their lands. That's it. They want us to stop occupying the middle east and to stop helping for the expansion of Isreal. Instead of paying attention and listening to what they have to say, we just toss some bombs over like it's nothing. I guess that works too, even though it has yet to show anything more than the death of thousands of people who didn't have to die and the bulking up of certain politicans wallets. Other than those, I don't think much has happened. I'm getting lost on a rant though. Back to talking about the crappy presidental front-runners and my want to see Political parties mean nothing...

Let's look for the best candidate, period. Not the best party. If we vote simply by our party then we are going to always complain about our president, our vice, our senators, etc. Most people don't even believe what their party believes. There are a lot of republicans I know who are republicans simply because they are against abortion and homosexuality. That's it. There's so much more going on in the world than abortion and homosexuals. Plus, what burden do you have from homosexuals? How are they affecting your life in a negative way? They aren't and you probably couldn't come up with a reason why they are.

Also, instead of looking at their public [politicians] image, which seems to be the most important thing to a politician nowadays, lets look at what they really believe. Forget all the party nonsense, it's irrelevant. Someone who follows strictly what that party believes is nothing more than a close-minded bigot with some pride issues. I'm not a fan of either party. In fact, i hate parties altogether. Whomever I feel is the right person for the job will get my vote. Right now, Ron Paul is the closest to getting it but he still needs to be looked into.

I'm neither party. If you have a candidate that you think should be elected next november, you tell me who and I'll look into it. Tell me what you like about him as well. I like Ron Paul because so far he seems to be a constitutionalist and though he is a Republican, appears to be against a lot of the choices Bush and his minions have made since being in office. I'm going to look into him some more and see what I think.

Hopefully we can find a way to live in peace together (i know there will never be world peace, but I just mean amongst ourselves, my friends who read this and our families, etc) where religion, race, gender, and politics are just byproducts of who we really are. They just don't really matter. Sure, we may disagree still but do we have to hate each other just because of something so stupid? If you want to help start a change in this world, if you want to see a revolution happen, and as scared as I am to say this and sound like a hippie, we need to start by loving people. That's what is going to change things. If people feel like they are being attacked, then they are going to want to retaliate and fight back. But if people feel accepted, without any agenda behind the acceptance, then most often they will show acceptance back. If we can show love, we will see love and we will see change.

If all else fails and everyone hates me for not wanting to be a part of either party, I've always wanted to be a minimalist so I'll just live in a shanty away from society and in 2008 i'll put in my write in for Jon Stewart and Stephen Cobert.